Dan Eats Cat Food

On the Internet, there are hundreds of places for drunk, bored college and post-college students to get together and write comedy. This is certainly one of them. If you took Batman, got him drunk and made him write comedy, this would be something marginally close to the outcome.

You can contact us through comments on the site, on Twitter at @daneatscatfood, through email at daneatscatfood@gmail.com and we even have a fan page on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dan-Eats-Cat-Food/403012770198?ref=mf). Don’t delay in getting a hold of us! We want your love. We…NEED…your love.

Also, if you love this site (and let’s be honest, if you’re reading this, you probably do), bookmark it! We’re going to do our very best to make sure we have daily content (okay, that’s a damn dirty lie but we’ll be putting stuff out sporadically throughout the month usually) and you don’t want to miss out on any of the Cat Food-ish goodness. You know you don’t and we don’t want you to!

Oh, and here’s who we are. Just FYI.

(Note to readers: this team page has evolved and changed throughout the years. This is now less of a ‘who writes for the site’ page and more of a ‘who are the main characters involved with the site and stories’ page. Almost a…’Cast’ page, if you will.)

KaosTheory is a man…a man with an impressively large…body of work (yes, that’s a euphemism), a rapier wit, and a sister blog (B-Movie Hell) that is currently on hiatus because he’s a lazy-ass movie reviewer. Really, it’s less of a hiatus and more of a ‘dead site’. Let’s be realistic here. It’s not coming back. He also goes by the moniker Dr. Awesome McKickass.

He is also a consummate lover and professional, wrestles tigers when he’s not on secret government missions to assassinate foreign dictators, can transform into a Mustang (car or horse, you decide) when agitated and can decipher parts of the Voynich Manuscript using his brain waves. That’s right. You know you’re impressed.

He is the CEO, editor, and also basically the only writer for the site. He wears many hats – including pimp hats and tricorn hats and bowlers worn at jaunty angles sometimes. He is currently dating Misspearlnecklace after three years of being a stupid bastard and not doing so.

Misspearlnecklace is the only woman currently associated with this site. She is dating KaosTheory which is pretty damned decent of her. She also promotes the site when she gets a spare minute, but that doesn’t happen very often since she has her fingers on the pulse of literally (figuratively) thousands of activities and organizations. She is the Badass with the Great Ass. Also, she loves on KT which takes a good deal of time as well.

Pred3000 is the eponymous Dan of cat food fame. He has not yet consumed the feline eatables. We’re working on that as we speak. Diligently. He is loud, boistrous and tends to garner anger wherever he goes. That means we love him. He is also the originator of Rupert the Drunk as well as having an unhealthy fascination with Hannah Montana and toilet paper. Usually both at the same time. Probably while cranking his dipstick. God help us all.

Raybestos is a raconteur, demiurge, bon vivant, solipsist, fancy pants and KT’s best friend. He is also involved with the increasingly complex Dan Eating Cat Food bet. Just not as much anymore as he actually has, you know, a life. And responsibilities. And all manner of distractions from his true calling. We know that someday soon he will come to his senses and rejoin the brethren he has so left behind on his quest to become a normal adult. It is boring out there, Raybestos. Come back to the stupid side.

Superfly is KaosTheory’s brother and, while he does not write, he provides a critical role in the Vegas Diaries. He is involved in creating and then subsequently destroying those memories, but he provides alcohol and laughter and access to naked boobs so he is a prince among men.

Ed is the editor of most of the articles on the site and is the last line of defense between Dan Eats Cat Food and the legal system at large. Ed does not exist which makes his job that much more difficult.

Grigor Neyterivich Rasklonokovski is KT’s Russian ‘friend’ that only shows up when no more story ideas are coming to mind. He is the epitome of lazy writing but sometimes you just have to write stupid stereotypical characters to clear the cobwebs out. He will be back more often than you’d think.

The Koala is…well, the less said about this the better. It can hear your fear.