By now, I’m sure you all have heard about or read about or sensed coming out of the dark aether that lies between this world and that of the nether realms the existence of Jack in the Box’s new “delicacy” (read: affront to God, man, and the natural order of things) – their bacon milkshake. [...]
Posts Tagged ‘Alcohol’
An Experiment Gone Awry
Posted: February 15, 2012 by kaostheory in Slice of LifeTags: Alcohol, Food, Frustration, Rage, Sex
0
States Are Sluts
Posted: January 30, 2012 by kaostheory in InformativeTags: Alcohol, Pervert, Pornography, Sex
We all have different talents. Some people can paint beautiful pictures of magnificent landscapes or life-like reproductions of historical figures. Some can orate with a flair and command of the pulpit or podium on a level akin to that which existed in ancient Greece or Rome. Some can weave magic with their guitars or violins [...]
The Descent Into Skyrim
Posted: December 31, 2011 by kaostheory in Slice of LifeTags: Alcohol, Love, Pervert, Sex, Video Games
Look, I’m not even going to lie about it or cover it up. I’m not going to claim that I’ve been super-drunk or using my dick as a divining rod (finding wetness…get it?). First off, I was working. Yes, working. Dress clothes, 6 AM mornings, commutes, office work, lunchtimes filled with desperate socialization, playing around [...]
The Possible States Of Drunk
Posted: August 21, 2011 by kaostheory in InformativeTags: Alcohol, Awesome, Pervert, Rage, Sex, Violence
So you’re going to get drunk. Wonderful. We approve. Douse your internal fire with alcoholic liquors, liqueurs, beers, wines…Jello shots. Whatever gets your liver dick hard. It’s all good. However, being drunk comes along with its own risks. Aside from the bodily damage that comes part and parcel with drinking (we’re all dying slowly so [...]
Your Metal Baby
Posted: August 20, 2011 by kaostheory in InformativeTags: Alcohol, Awesome, Music, Rock, Sex, Violence, Win
Children are terrifying, let us come to that agreement right now. They’re little and fragile and as a parent, you would be in charge of forming their minds and bending them to your will, which sounds pretty awesome but also requires financial and time investments that…well…are just inconveniences, especially right now. Worse yet, their taste [...]
The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers For Today’s Generation
Posted: July 29, 2011 by kaostheory in InformativeTags: Alcohol, Pedophilia, Pervert, Pornography, Racism, Sex, Violence
As a child of the early 1990s, my generation was one that grew up with a tremendous range of quality (some still quality, some not so much) programming on television. Rocko’s Modern Life. All That. FOX Kids. The Spice Channel. As kids, we were really the last generation to be able to enjoy Saturday morning [...]
Drunk Cliches and Why They Don’t (Okay, Sometimes) Actually Happen
Posted: June 25, 2011 by kaostheory in InformativeTags: Alcohol, Pervert, Sex
It is no secret that we here at Dan Eats Cat Food appreciate and love Mother Alcohol and all the warmth and healing she provides. However, it has become increasingly obvious to us that many of our readers simply do not understand how she works, instead choosing to rely on age-old cliches to give them [...]
Another Failed Interview
Posted: May 27, 2011 by kaostheory in InterviewTags: Alcohol, Pervert, Violence
So what do you want me to do with this? We’ve been pretty dry for a while. Funny has kinda taken a backseat to musing, horny and/or questioning the very foundation of where life is going to go now in a haze of video games, wine and some low-level job searching. (We’ve had some feedback [...]
Viking Blood and Bad Decisions: DECF Does Vegas 2: Monday/Tuesday
Posted: March 22, 2011 by kaostheory in Slice of LifeTags: Alcohol, Food, Pervert, Rage, Retard Phenomena, Violence
Let’s just get to it. This is not going to be a fun recap. This isn’t what I particularly want to relive, but what the hell. Gotta tell you all about the good and the bad. And this is mostly bad. Holy Hannah. Let’s just do this and get it done with. —— Monday morning, [...]
Viking Blood and Bad Decisions: DECF Does Vegas 2: Sunday, Part 2
Posted: March 21, 2011 by kaostheory in Slice of LifeTags: Alcohol, Awesome, Food, Music, Pervert, Pissy, Tits
One note on this half of Sunday before I begin. I’m going to do my best to piece this together but these notes are drunken and horribly scribbled. The fact that they actually EXIST is a testament to my dedication to the idea of recapping my experiences. I’ll do my best to get these down [...]
