So you’re going to get drunk. Wonderful. We approve. Douse your internal fire with alcoholic liquors, liqueurs, beers, wines…Jello shots. Whatever gets your liver dick hard. It’s all good. However, being drunk comes along with its own risks. Aside from the bodily damage that comes part and parcel with drinking (we’re all dying slowly so [...]
Posts Tagged ‘Awesome’
The Possible States Of Drunk
Posted: August 21, 2011 by kaostheory in InformativeTags: Alcohol, Awesome, Pervert, Rage, Sex, Violence
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Your Metal Baby
Posted: August 20, 2011 by kaostheory in InformativeTags: Alcohol, Awesome, Music, Rock, Sex, Violence, Win
Children are terrifying, let us come to that agreement right now. They’re little and fragile and as a parent, you would be in charge of forming their minds and bending them to your will, which sounds pretty awesome but also requires financial and time investments that…well…are just inconveniences, especially right now. Worse yet, their taste [...]
How To Do Easter The Dan Eats Cat Food Way
Posted: April 24, 2011 by kaostheory in InformativeTags: Awesome, Food, Help, Sex
Easter. The time of year where we as human beings suspend all belief in favor of accepting that sometimes giant, mutated rabbits are able to produce multi-colored, probably infected, and voluminous amounts of chicken eggs like some sort of unholy cross taking part because of the rape of a hen by a jackrabbit. Yeah. That’s [...]
Viking Blood and Bad Decisions: DECF Does Vegas 2: Sunday, Part 2
Posted: March 21, 2011 by kaostheory in Slice of LifeTags: Alcohol, Awesome, Food, Music, Pervert, Pissy, Tits
One note on this half of Sunday before I begin. I’m going to do my best to piece this together but these notes are drunken and horribly scribbled. The fact that they actually EXIST is a testament to my dedication to the idea of recapping my experiences. I’ll do my best to get these down [...]
Viking Blood and Bad Decisions: DECF Does Vegas 2: Saturday, Part 1
Posted: March 16, 2011 by kaostheory in Slice of LifeTags: Alcohol, Awesome, Food, Frustration, Pervert, Sex
With the onset of Tennessee’s Spring Break, two things came into play: the homecoming of my brother, Superfly, and our subsequent return to Sin City, The Home of Devastating Hangovers…Las Vegas. Here, as per tradition, is my recounting of the trip in as much detail as I can remember. For the record, about half of [...]
Dan Eats Cat Food’s Guide to Ringing In The New Year
Posted: December 31, 2010 by kaostheory in InformativeTags: Alcohol, Awesome, Pervert, Sex, Violence
First off, we here at DECF would like to apologize profusely for tucking and running for, oh, over a month or so. We’d like to…but we can’t. You see, certain things happened that necessitated our running away like little girls who just had their first period in the middle of gym class. (Gross. – ed.) [...]
Dan Eats Cat Food Enters The Fairy Tale Kingdom: Part Two
Posted: August 11, 2010 by kaostheory in Fairy TaleTags: Awesome, Nymph, Sex, Storytime
(Alright, KT! Aren’t you excited about writing today? – ed.) Nnnnnnrg. (Okay, let’s try again. Are you ready to do this? – ed.) Mrrrrgn. (Okay, let me clarify yet again. You’ve been drunk for a week and a half. It’s a miracle you are actually still breathing. That being the case, are you at least [...]
Dan Eats Cat Food Rocks Out With Scorpions
Posted: July 11, 2010 by kaostheory in Slice of LifeTags: Awesome, Guitar, Music, Rock
Because we are a giving organization – and basically fold like a wussy gambler when it comes to any kind of pressure, we were “convinced” by KaosTheory to let him offer a special “Rock Out Report”, as he called it, after his concert that he went to. Since we have no real ideas left in [...]
How To Judge How You Watch The World Cup
Posted: June 15, 2010 by kaostheory in InformativeTags: Awesome
Once every four years, something happens to the world. Something strange and otherworldly. Time seems to stop and the world is brought together for a while to compete in one of the most intense events in the world. I am talking, of course, about the Winter Olympics. Yes, the Winter Olympics. Where the fate of [...]
Dan Eats Cat Food’s 100th Episode Spectacular Or Not-So-Spectacular As The Case May Be
Posted: June 11, 2010 by kaostheory in CelebratoryTags: Alcohol, Awesome
Wow. One hundred entries – and yes, we are counting the bitchy little cop-out ‘hiatus’ entry AND the intro entry because it’s disingenuous to say that they didn’t count as posts since they clearly did go up on the site – and we’re still rollin’ hard. That’s difficult to believe, honestly. If you had asked [...]
